“How do you find the time to blog and run your business?”
I’ve answered this question before with all the academic time-saving rules of efficiency. Today I want to let you in on the real secrets of getting more time out of your day.
Clothing
I rarely use shirts with buttons. T-shirts and sweatshirts speed up the “getting dressed and heading to the computer” part of my mornings. It’s 2009, the button is an ancient form of fastener that has seen it’s time come and go.
Shoes
Slippers, clogs, sandals, and shoes without laces are common place in this household. Another morning time-suck is having to use an outdated form of fastening device: shoe laces. We’ve had velcro technology for decades, yet people still don their lacies as if we’re all living in the 16th century.
I’ve already saved 5 minutes and I still have crust in my eyes. (Which you shouldn’t bother with. It falls out naturally after about 30 minutes.)
Pants
Sweats that are pre-knotted to the proper belt size are the way to go. You work at home. Who cares if you’re wearing a black Def Leppard t-shirt, yellow sweats, and crocs? You’re saving time!
Breakfast
People think I’m trying to lose weight because I always have a shake for breakfast. Not true. I am saving time. No cooking and all the vitamins and protein I need to thumb my nose at hunger till noon (which is in about an hour).
Lunch
Anything that takes under 2 minutes to prepare. This will usually be a sandwich. Making cold food saves time and lowers your utility bills.
Snacks
Those dieters save the day again. Protein bars are not only a good replacement waffles and candy corn, they fill you up and take however long it takes to tear plastic off of them.
Always prepare food that can be consumed while blogging.
Throne Blogging
Nothing makes a better lap to support your laptop than the lap created while sitting on the toilet. (Let’s be mature here. You bought your kid the book “Everybody Poops.” Take another read through it if you find yourself giggling like a third grader about this important tip.)
You can get another 5-20 minutes of blogging out of your day with throne blogging alone! Stopping the presses just to take a load off is a silly waste of time. It’s not like you’re being Knighted by the Queen or anything.
(From now on it will be safe to wonder which of my posts were written in the bathroom. It’s safe to say that any post that looks a bit rushed was probably done in my second office. What? I wash my hands!)
Go Bald
People worry about hair way too much. Being able to cut what’s left of my hair with a dog clipper frees up massive amounts of time in the long run. I never get “hat head” and I never have to slip into the bathroom to check if my flowing locks are properly placed.
Save Water
Showering every day is bad for the environment and blog productivity. How dirty can you be if all you do is type? Leave the daily showering for the poor schmucks who have to go out in public everyday to make a living.
Live In Warm Places
Being able to simply get out of your hammock in the morning, push the howler monkey aside so you can make your breakfast shake, and simply work in what you slept in without having to put on extra clothes is a winner. I’m still working on this one, but Costa Rica is in the lead for best places to be a blogger.
Stunt Doubles
Put other people on tasks like taxes, web design, customer support, and answering your Facebook mail. (You thought that was ME? HA!) Nothing screams success like having a bunch of people all over the web filling in for you. It is far easier to have stunt doubles on the web than it is in real life.
Oral Hi Jean
Failing to brush your teeth just for the sake of gaining more time for your business is just gross. I draw the line there. But use an electric brush. You get 100 times the brush strokes over ancient manual brush technology.
Staying Informed
Get your news from people who spend all their time watching and reading the news. You need Cliffs Notes.
Something like this: “The economy is in the tank, you have a 50/50 chance of going to jail if you become the Governor of Illinois, conservatives hate socialism except when their companies are tanking, and Britney Spears is making a comeback.”
Bam! You just saved at least 30 minutes today on news alone!
Combined with the sage advice above, I think I just netted you another 2 hours in your day.
Thank me below and share your time-saving tips. (They can’t be the usual boring “make a list and cross crap off when you are done with each item”)




{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I feel the same way. I posted my schedule on my blog and business seems to be my whole life. Interesting post.
Haha I love it. Very good post. Funny and actually true in many ways. Except I have to go straight to the shower when I get up. Drives me crazy if I don’t!
Trent Brownriggs last blog post..Work at Home Blog for Sale
Why not set up an IV drip for food and just use your toilet as an office chair?
Or maybe you could do the diaper thing if you do not want to rearrange your plumbing.
There’s always a way!
Lorraine
Lorraine Grulas last blog post..Online Video Marketing: A VPT Reader Shares his Video
Hilarious! My biggest time saving tip is to Forrest Gump it. I run everywhere, especially the bathroom after drinking 3 cups of coffee. Saves me loads of time! I draw the line at dump blogging though. I have two small children and don’t want to teach them to take electronics to the toilet with them. Once they’re past that impressionable age, I might reconsider. Thanks for the tips
Cassies last blog post..Don’t let blogging turn you into a zombie
With tongue firmly planted in cheek:
-Live in domiciles with fewer stories. The time spent going up and down could be shaving minutes off of your blog posts every day. Yurts or tents are best.
-Cancel unnecessary friendships. If someone isn’t a source of blog ideas or inspiration, you’re wasting your time just “hanging out” and “talking.”
-Buy groceries and other supplies in bulk. How many would-be blogging hours do you waste every month making a “quick run” to the store? I buy a case of 100 rolls of toilet paper at a time, and that’s what’s allowing me the time to even write this comment.
Chris
Chriss last blog post..The Clear Creek Co-Op was not started in a desk
See Lorraine? THAT’S the kind of thinking we need around here!
It’s never too early to teach your children about electronics in the bathroom. My wife blew a fuse upstairs my having too many things on. Now my 2 year old is telling HER to turn stuff off in there. She was about to blow it again yesterday and he scolded her not to turn the last thing on that blew it last time.
LOL Chris – very good tips. Let’s see Tony Robbins’ people come up with such value!
Trent – then you’re going to have to sacrifice elsewhere. You’re definitely going to have to throne blog!
Loved the post. My best time saver is a picture of a hungry wolf hanging over my desk with a stare that says, “You’re lunch.” It reminds me that there are a TON of things that DO NOT need my attention today.
Time Saving Softwares last blog post..Making It All Work
Very funny post. I loved it and this is on of those times that I can use lolLOL, which translated is little old lady LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
I am on the same page as you are with the apparel tips and also on the eating tips; except for snacks, I have a jar of mixed nuts so only time spent is taking off lid and sticking in hand. I’ve got it down to a science.
Also on the same page with the saving water, living in a warm place (CA), oral hi jean and staying informed (except for when new, bright shiny links compel me to click). You should a new list about how to stay focused. Love to see that one.
I would have to work on the throne blogging and going bald. I don’t do my best thinking on the throne usually only have one thing in mind then. I can’t do the bald thing but for me the next best is going short so only time required is wash, rinse and fluff dry.
My goal is to make enough money to be able to do the whole stunt double thingie.
Fab post Jack! My best time-saving tip? Don’t go to bed. Don’t even sleep. Do this 2 nights every week and you have an extra 16 hours (24 in my case)!
Paul e Wattss last blog post..New Review & Mucklewick Walk
Hi Jack, this was my first travel to your blog (via Maria’s site) and I’ll be back! I almost P’d myself laughing at your time saving suggestions…I could SO relate, although like Cassie, I too draw the line at throne blogging – hah! And now I must go and rid my mind of that mentally disturbing picture!
~d.
Jack no wonder every where I been you been there before.
With the pre-tied sweats and velcro shoes, you get the jump
on me. But that going bald thing?
I have to draw the line somewhere.
I would have to have a David Lee Roth comb over.(LOL)
Gary McElwain
Hi Jack:
Great post. Very entertaining. You could always save a couple of minutes a day by not even getting out of bed. Keep a refrig next to your bed for that breakfast shake and than you can have breakfast and blogging in bed.
Robs last blog post..Stop Whining the Lord Is Our Strength
You need to become ambi-dextrous:
Eat with your right (write?) hand while blogging with your left
Clean your teeth with your right hand while blogging with your left
Reach for the paper on the throne …..
You get the idea.
Cheers,
Martin.
Martin Maldens last blog post..Help For Website Owners – The What’s This Web Thing Forum
I was with you until you cited the Crocs.
Dude (his voice trailed off, disappointedly).
Joe Buas last blog post..What Teen Star Dating a 20-Year-Old Underwear Model (with daddy’s blessing) Will Make an MTV Viewer’s Dream Come True New Year’s Eve?